This Is The End…

So I have had a few post here on Creating Carters. I love blogging but for the past few months, my life has been a whirlwind. In October, my doctor informed me that I was prediabetic, a direct result of experiencing Gestational Diabetes during my pregnancy with my son. In November, after starting to get in shape, I got hit with a nasty cold that took weeks to disappear. In December, someone who I was becoming good friends with died suddenly, leaving behind her three grieving little girls. Last month, I found out that my estranged father had a blood clot in his leg so big that it nearly cost him his leg. Last week, after all the chaos of the past few months, my husband decided he was tired of being married to me. I was told that I’m uncaring, a poor listener and that I’m not enough but someone else is. I thought my marriage and family were the only stable things that I had. I was happy. I was secure. Now I’m devastated, alone, and picking up the pieces.

That being said, Creating Carters will be no more. I hope things do not end this way in my life but I can’t bring myself to write under a name that has broken my heart. It is a name that once brought me pride but now only brings confusion, sadness, and the bitter taste of betrayal. I will rise. I will be okay. I will write again but not like this.

My name is Meg. I am strong. I am resilient. I am in for the fight of my life.

New blog: https://midnightatthecrossroads.wordpress.com/

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How Gilmore Girls Pimp Slapped My Emotions

I have been a huge fan of the amazing phenomenon that is “Gilmore Girls” since the beginning. I was a mini twelve-year-old elephant (see the previous post) when a cousin told my mom we should watch the show and for six years, every Tuesday at 8pm, I sat on my mother’s couch laughing and crying with her and my sister.

I mourned the death of the amazing Edward Herrmann in 2014. His portrayal of Richard made him feel as though he was everyone’s grandfather. He was warm, smart, and proud. He was a gentle giant with a voice that thundered in a way that could both comfort and instill fear. He was idyllic. I cried at the news of the revival.

Ladies and gentlemen here are my opinions on the revival and yes, there are a billion spoilers ahead.

I REPEAT SPOILERS BELOW.

I WARNED YOU.

HERE THEY COME!

I HATED THE REVIVAL! Okay, maybe hate is a strong word but immense dislike is less dramatic sounding. My heart broke sitting in that chair. The last time I had been in this much anticipation of something, other than the Kingdom of God, was the birth of my son.

“But, Meg,” You ask, “what was wrong with it?”

EVERYTHING!

As stated earlier, I started watching the series in the beginning. When I missed shows, I caught up during the offseason during reruns. I was entranced by the show. I spent 22 hours a year for seven years, that’s 154 hours of my young life on my couch being an honorary Gilmore Girl. It was the world where my weird and awkward tendencies were welcomed. They were weird, flawed, and yet somehow perfect. That was the charm of the show. Everything was idyllic. It was a place to escape to, a place where problems arose but we all knew that things would work out eventually. It was messy at times but not as dark as the real world could prove to be.

The show premiered in October of 2000, a time in American history where you could get on a plane in no time flat with your shoes on and your mom kissing you goodbye at the gate. A time where the target audience didn’t know the phrases like, “anthrax scare”, “ground zero”, or “weapons of mass destruction”. The town of Stars Hollow was the stereotypical American small town where your neighbors all know each other and wacky festivals litter the calendar. It continued to be that way even when the world around us started crumbling. During a time where it seemed like even our vacations filled us with terror and dread as new threats and diseases entered into our vocabulary, Stars Hallow remained paradisiac and immaculate. When the show ended in 2007 with Rory, the college graduate, going off to live her dream we, as the audience, were in search of another escape.

However, there was no such escape like that of “Gilmore Girls.” The writing of the Palladinos is so unique in nature, that when they exited the show before its final season, the loss was apparent. The show was, at best, doggy paddling its way to the end. It left us with that dreaded question: “What if?”

What if the series ended the way it was originally supposed to? Would we have gotten even more seasons? Would everyone’s beloved Rory have found another beau worthy of her? For years we were left to wonder, but then it was announced that a revival was happening.

We were treated to behind the scenes photos, set clues, old familiar faces gently aged reminding us that time has gone by even if our Netflix binges kept them forever young. Festivals were thrown. Personalized promos were written. Luke’s Diners popped up all over the place. A small town in Connecticut became a mecca for die-hard fans. Gilmore Mania had taken over again. So, like most of America, I forsook my Black Friday plans and prepared for the return trip to our beloved town to hear the final four words that were extensively teased for the last year.

I got my hubby addicted to the show. We were counting down the days. We woke up at 3am on that Friday to find out how these imaginary members of my family have been for the last nine years, ten if you don’t count the seventh season as canon.

My heart broke after those six hours and four words. After ten years of waiting, the town I had fallen in love with was a shadow of its former self. Our girls were back but the whole thing felt forced and plastic. Rory no longer sounded like Rory but instead like an actress trying to be Rory. Granted, it had been nine years since Alexis Bledel last played the character but, the lack of connection to the role was so obvious and it set the pace for the rest of the show. She had now become a forgetful immature woman, a nomad both professionally and personally. She no longer took others into consideration, which is seen in her relationships with Paul, Logan, and even her own mother at times. She didn’t truly care if she was a burden on her friends and family who became living storage units for her, showing up at random times to dig through boxes before leaving them there. Rory at 32 is living a life better suited for someone ten years young. She’s become flighty, immature, and careless as if the lessons she learned during her college years hadn’t existed. While other characters, even Kirk, show growth, Rory sinks down into such a mire of regression that by the time we finally hear the four words we can’t help but wonder if she’ll ever return to the level-headed woman we all came to love.

We all make mistakes and in my early 20s, I made enough to last a lifetime, i.e. a marriage, subsequent divorce, and child all in a two-year span. Yet, that is where the issue lies. The attitude Rory has, the mistakes she makes such as failing to research a company before an interview or falling asleep while interviewing, are missteps that someone makes fresh out of college, not ten years later. Rory was the queen of professionalism and research, even teaching her mother a thing or two. Who can forget her infamous Pro/Con Lists for every major life decision?

The script feels as though it was pulled out of a desk drawer, dusted off, and passed around with a few side notes added mid-shoot. We were promised closure for everyone but instead only about half of the cast gained true closure leaving the rest floating around in the stink that is now our rotting hopes and dreams for Rory. We are left with just a bunch of questions.

  • What happened to Rory and the Obama campaign? In a promo video, we saw her speaking with the First Lady. Why did she leave before the end of the presidency?
  • Why would Rory run back to Logan? At the end of the show, she decided to move on.
  • Why is Logan in London? He proposed to Rory promising her an avocado tree in California.
  • How come April didn’t graduate college already? The girl was a certified genius. Should she have not already graduated MIT years ago?
  • How did Miss Patty lose all that weight? Homegirl looks amazing.
  • Did Rory forget how much trouble was caused when she had an affair with Dean?
  • Why wasn’t Rory on birth control? Even without insurance, Medicaid pays for it. If London was supposed to be her and Logan’s why would they not take precautions?
  • Why all the hate on Paul? He seemed perfectly lovely even if he was dumb enough to be in a relationship with someone who avoided him for three years.
  • When did Michel come out of the closet? Granted, he did have a Celine Dion obsession but he was always mentioning women and being a lady’s man.
  • Where were the endings for Jess, Paris, Doyle, and that godforsaken musical?
  • Most importantly, why were there so few scenes with actual Stars Hallow alums and so many with actors from other Palladino productions?

All in all, the revival seemed rushed, poorly executed, and a bit ungrateful for the loyalty of the fans. To have a fanbase like this show does, it requires loyal people. There are 154 hours of show in the original seven seasons and if you’re like me, you watched it more than once. I personally watched it to completion three times. That’s at least 462 hours  or 19.25- 24 hour days of Gilmore glory. To have fans that dedicated, fans that kept the show in syndication and then revived it once it hit Netflix, is something that most writers dream of. Something like a revival should have been crafted carefully with all the love a writer could muster as a thank you for the support of a dream that they may have been told over and over again would not come true. Yet we were delivered a story that felt like a rough draft of a lazy college student comprised of poorly updated characters, an alarmingly long and unwanted musical, and scenes that tore away at the facade of Stars Hallow. We were reminded that it is indeed a television set and that the writer’s almost self-righteous need to finish the story her way was more important than the opinion of the people who allowed her to tell it, essentially giving the audience and their hopes for Rory the middle finger. For a show that, in the last year and a half, behaved as though it was completely dependent on its fans, it, in the end, chewed us up and spat us out without any apologies and in all honesty no hope for any real answers. Disappointment is an understatement and heartbroken only begins to cover it.

I’m Meg and Amy Sherman-Palladino is a cold-hearted pimp laughing all the way to the bank.

Business and the Art of Panic Induced Procrastination

For the last two years, I have been a stay at home mom toying with the idea of starting my own business. First, it was cupcakes. Baking has been a passion of mine for about 12 years now and so naturally that was my first venture into the business world. I had a cutesy name. I picked out business cards and I even started a Facebook page that displayed my homemade logo. I was a baking maniac. I was researching flavors. My kitchen was a mess. I brought samples to my co-workers. I was a woman on a mission. Then I got my first order.

I was about four or five months pregnant when my first custom order came in and boy howdy, did I learn some lessons.

  1.  Limit the amount of how much someone can custom order their order. Otherwise, you’ll end up with a crazy order, extra used inventory and a headache.
  2. Write a contract.
  3. Get a deposit.
  4. Plan ahead. If your order is going to take a certain amount of time to make, plan on starting at least 1-2 hours in advance.
  5. I should not be allowed to handle crazy stressful business decisions while pregnant. I’m honestly surprised that I didn’t go into labor. Those cupcakes were seasoned with my salty tears. (Not really)
  6. Don’t be upset if, even though you worked really (really, really, really) hard, you don’t gain more business by word of mouth.
  7. Consider extra fees when planning your order prices such as delivery and labor.

After that fiasco, despite gain lots of verbal praise, I was done selling cupcakes. It took me about another almost year and a half before I baked again, even for myself. The whole experience made me hate baking.

In hindsight, I was angrier at myself for not properly researching how to start the journey. I didn’t have a business plan, contract, backup plan, and let’s face it- common sense. I naively assumed that there would be an easy road to this first order since I knew the people who were ordering from me. I guess I expected them to take it easy on me and not to treat this as what it was, a business relationship.

So here I am, two years later, still broke and still wanting to start a small side business to earn some extra money. This extended hiatus has come courtesy of the birth of my son, lack of sleep, and to be honest I’m too lazy and confused to get started. I’ll start to plan and start designing business cards again. This time I want to either work with my photography or with sewing. Yet, everything I design never seems good enough. I keep flashing back to how I felt with my last venture into business. My palms get sweaty and I get a little nauseous. It’s a mini panic attack. I don’t want to lose the love of something else. I need to actually start the journey or bury the idea.

The first step is the hardest because it deals with dealing with the confused odd creature that is me. I need to find out why I want to do this. Am I trying to be the next big wig online entrepreneur? No. I just had to have Grammarly correct my spelling of “entrepreneur” for crying out loud. Now I’m trying to do it correctly and slowly. I have enough stress on my plate without another failed business.

  • Is it to make a living?
  • Is it for a hobby?
  • Do I want new boots?
  • Is it to start a Pioneer Fund for my kids if this system lasts long enough?
  • Contribution box?
  • All of the above?

Then I have to decide how much time I have to dedicate to this because depending on how big of a project I want this to be this may become a full-time job? So pardon me as I have some deep thinking to do.

My name is Meg and I have a headache but I’m going to do some thinking.

Well That’s A New Development

So I got a haircut! Well more like a trim. I spent a weekend with my sister and she and my mother surprised me by paying for me to get my hair done for the first time in at least two years.

You guys, I was so excited. I rarely do things for me so this was huge! I felt like an adult. I felt human again. I was a nervous wreck.

The lovely woman who did my hair has been studying to be a Witness on and off for awhile. It wasn’t until recently that she really started moving forward in her studies and during that time, she and my sister have become good friends.

So she’s looking at the damage, which thankfully wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, and I kid you not these were the words coming out of her mouth.

“You have awesome hair. You have two patterns here. I’m seeing 3B and maybe some 3A.”

I’m sorry. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!

ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I DON’T HAVE 4C HAIR?

I HAVE THE PATTERN I’VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF, I JUST HAVE TO BE PATIENT AND WAIT.

I just… have to be…patient.

I’M GOING TO BE BALD FOREVER!

Now I have to relearn everything about my hair. This is exhausting.
My name is Meg and I hate surprises.